Having That Someone

It's a weird feeling.

Knowing someone's always there for you... Whether you like it or not.

I've been so used to being alone that I tend to push people away. Unconsciously, of course. Maybe I'm just scared of getting used to this. You know, having someone. It's just that I feel everything's just temporary. Unlike before, I find it really hard to believe in forever. Even if I force myself to, I know I won't.

I'm not sure how or when it happened. It's sad to see myself turned into such a cynic. But I guess it's my defense mechanism. Even if I tell the world I'm numb from pain, I'm still scared to get hurt. More so, I'm terrified of hurting the people I care about.

But then again, in my desire to protect everyone from pain, I end up hurting not just them, but myself too, in the process.

It's a weird feeling. Having someone. I don't know how long this will last. I wish I still believed in forever. I know I would have been happier if I did.

But for the meantime, I am thankful. And grateful. To have that someone.